In the House of Cullen
by Bubbles-LovesYouAlways
Summary: Challenge fic! Buffy/Twilight Cross-over! Buffy Summers spends a day at the Cullen household... What kind of chaos will there be!


_**Hello people! This is a challenge fic that RaithsEnvyMe has set for me. She gave it to me about 6 months ago, and I just got it up. Lol. It's a cross-over between Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Twilight. It will only be a one-shot and I hope you like it! :D**_

_**Challenge: Carlisle, trees, the Mercedes, cheese, Jake/Nessie, shampoo, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and cursing. In any order. **_

_**Warning: I think I had a little too much fun with the cursing…. I don't do it that often in real life so writing it is a whole lot fun! Lol. Also, Buffy may be way out of character… but I don't watch the show or read the books. So sue me. ;D**_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing. It's just my imagination going way off with a little help from Raiths and the characters of BtVS and Twilight. Enjoy! **_

(Buffy's POV)

Will you guys ever believe me if I, Buffy Summers, were ever friends with the Culllens? That's right, _the _Cullens. The vegetarian vampires of Forks, Washington…. Haha, I didn't think you would. Cause believe me, I wouldn't think I would believe myself either. But, let me tell you a little scene where I got to know the Cullens real well. Then, maybe, you will possibly believe me.

_Flashback: _

"Oh I just fucking KILLED you!" I had just laughed evilly. Like I was insane, really. But, that's beside the point. So, I laughed… insanely evil. In the living room. With the scrabble board. At Carlisle Cullen.

Yes, you read right. THE Carlisle Cullen, vampire doctor extraordinaire. The hawty (and smart) one out of all the Cullens. But, I would have to admit that Emmett could be some good eye candy as well (insert my amazing giggling skills here).

So, me and Carlisle are playing Scrabble, while everyone else are giggling like a couple of school girls. I just roll my eyes at them and try to majorly focus on Carlisle while he figures out a word to put down. But, being the most annoying couple out of them all, Jacob Black and Renesmee Cullen start giggling like mad. What the hell are doing over there? Gosh, couldn't they give me the respect that I deserve? I could just go over there and kill them both if I really wanted to. But then everyone else will try to kill me as well… Then Carlisle would be majorly mad. Blasphemy! That can't happen! I won't let Carlisle be mad at me! So, I must restrain myself.

Through my all out conversation with myself, stupid Edward is laughing at me… and Carlisle is speaking! I must hear his sexy voice!

"What do you mean that you KILLED me?" He's speaking while he's putting down letters. Who could be sexier at doing that? No one! But he goes on… "I still seem to be sitting here, across from you." Oh damn him and his witty comebacks. I just glare at him. And he laughs! The perfect fucker…

With my vampire senses tingling, I notice that Edward is laughing at me so hard that his head looks about to explode. I groan. I look at him with the glare that was previously shot at Carlisle. "Just say it Edward. You know you want to."

Edward full on smiles at me. How dare he! "Well, I'd say that he would be a pretty good fucker."

I smirk, knowing that the tables were turned. Carlisle gasps with shock (he's so perfect at that too! Is there anything he's NOT good at?). And bless him, Jacob howls with laughter, while I ask him, "How would you know Edward?"

Edward looks at me with shock. And horror, when he realizes how wrong his comment sounded. That's what he deserves though. Haha!

"Buffy, you are one sneaky little bugger. That's why we love you!" Gosh, Jacob Black can be quite the charmer. But he mostly ruins those charms with one simple sentence and/or word. I smile with a grimace. Then, came up with my own witty comeback.

"Huh, is that why you tolerate Renesmee? She is a little bugger, after all." I smirk in triumph. Jacob-0 Me-1!

"If I'm such a bugger, Buffy, then why are you still here?" Oh I knew right then that I would always hate that little bitch. How dare she say that to me? I glare at everyone in the room, but mostly her. I notice Edward again… He is shooting daggers at me as I think! Oh shit, shit, shit.

So, I just pick the easiest way out of a situation like this. I smile at Edward and I turn back to the game that I was previously having with Carlisle.

Carlisle chuckles in amusement… cause guys don't giggle. Oh no, sir. Ha! I just used the word chuckle… I love that word!

"Don't make me lock you up in my closet, Carlisle." I smirked calmly as I tried to figure out a word to put down. I look up at the man in question and I concluded that I am on a roll. Carlisle was looking at me in shock. I seem to be putting people in the state of shock a lot today. I gave him my innocent eyes. "Yes?"

He gave me a curious look.

Damn, he figured out my plan to rape him in my closet.

Edward roared with laughter.

Great, now two people know!

"Why would you want me in you CLOSET?" I frown and blush. Maybe he didn't know my plan. Well that's a relief. But fuck; now Edward knew and he can tell anyone. I look over at him to tell him not to tell anyone anything. And Bella is looking at me and Carlisle with amusement. Damn her and Edward. I look at her with my 'say-anything-to-anyone-and-i-WILL-kill-you' look. Cause I am a vampire slayer after all.

As we all calm down, with the exception of Jake and Nessie (who are still giggling like school girls), there is a big BANG! outside of the house.

"What the hell was that!?!" I ran to the window, ignoring Bella hyperventilate, to see what was the matter. But it was so dark with the pouring rain that you couldn't see a thing. I turned to Edward and Alice and gave them a questioning look. Maybe there is someone out there….

Edward rolled his eyes.  
"It's just Seth. He ran into a tree."

And sure enough, Seth came into the house with twigs and leaves in his rain downed hair. He was just smiling away like he was use to running into trees. Hell, he probably was.

"Hey guys!" he exclaimed excitedly. What made him so happy? It's fucking raining outside and he just ran into a fucking tree! He is one strange, but cute, kid. I looked at him incredulously.

On the other side of the room, Edward chuckled. "Hey, son."

Apparently, Eddy boy here took over the role as Seth's father figure as Seth's father died awhile ago. I still haven't figured out why Edward would do that. He's a vampire. Seth's a werewolf. They just don't mesh well.

Anyway, what the hell was I doing with Carlisle?? I turn to him and see that he left. I pout a bit but get over it. It's not like he is married or anything… oh shit, he is… I glared at nothing in particular.

"Damn Carlisle." I get up and walk, unwillingly, to where Jake and Nessie were sitting. And guess what they were doing…? You guessed right, they were still giggling.

Jake looked up at me from where he was sitting on the couch, with a blank stare. That's all it took for me to leave. I mean, why just look at me? He could have asked me to sit down or something. He really is an annoying kid.

So, I walk outside to where Alice, Emmett, and Rosalie were. They were all standing by the Mercedes. Emmet was sitting ON the car. The hood, I mean.

"What are you guys doing out here?" I stopped and stood next to Alice. She looked at me with giddy. Oh shit, I hate that look.

"Emmett is going to prove that he can sit on the hood of the Mercedes without breaking it. In my opinion, he couldn't do it cause he can't hold still for that long. He is basically a little kid with ADHD, after all." Alice looked back to Emmett and I looked at him with annoyance. What is WRONG with these vampires? Don't they have ANY fun at all?

I leave to see where everyone else is at.

A couple minutes pass and I don't see anyone.

Where the hell are they!?!

And, dare I say it; I heard a commotion in the house. I head in the direction of the backdoor… which leads into the kitchen.

Oh my God, I'm too scared to open the door when I got there. Something was going on in there that I really don't want to know!

I try to peak into the window next to the door, but there is some yellow stuff on it. Funny, cause I don't remember Esme redecorating at all.

Out of curiosity, which I would never go anywhere without getting rid of this feeling ever again, mind you, I open the door just a crack. And I hear laughter.

I sighed out of happiness that it wasn't anything bad. I open the door with a wide smile.

"Hey, what are you guys—" And I was fucking splatted with fucking yellow cheese!!!

I heard everyone gasp with horror as I just stood there.

I looked at everyone with a feeling of calm over my body.

I turned around out the door.

I left.

_(End Flashback)_

So, that was the day that I finally realized that the Cullens were the most BORING group of vampires on the face of the earth. I bet you still don't believe that I know this coven.

It's ok. I don't really believe myself half the time. And I see them every day!

But, hell, I love them till death do us part.

(Please don't count that they are already dead)

_**A/N: I had sooo much fun writing this! It was just a matter of time for me to type it up. Lol. **_

_**Raiths: I hope that you liked that I put some jokes from TJC in here. I hope you liked the fic in general!! :D**_

_**Advertisement: If you guys want to check out the Twilight Junkies Club then you can! Its under my forums in my profile! **_

_**Thank you for the time to read this! Review! **_


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